Resolve to make your dealings with your child's other parent as pleasant as you can -- even if he or she doesn't.
If your ex knows how to get under your skin -- and uses this knowledge unfairly -- resolve to keep your cool anyway. One tip is to have a friend with you when you have to see your ex in person; the mere presence of another person often calms the mood.
Don't hang on to old resentments, especially when your children are present. Take time to calm down and remind yourself that the remaining connection to your ex is solely about the welfare of your children.
Bite your tongue when you are tempted to speak ill of your ex in front of the kids. The best outcome of badmouthing your ex is that your children will feel uncomfortable. At worst, it will backfire on you: Children who are old enough to understand will likely feel a responsibility to defend your ex, further complicating the situation.
The same rules of good parenting you believed in while you and your ex were living together are still important. Talk to your ex about how to handle discipline, school projects, health-care matters, extracurricular activities and other situations you both need to have input on. Compromise whenever you can.
From IndyStar.com.
(some/part/all of this may used in any regard, on this site*snip)
The ADULT parents who've divorced (or are in the midst of it) seemingly ignore a core and simple fact which I am going to attempt to remind the reader of:
A child,
in actuality and reality, is the product and subsequent responsibility of
TWO PEOPLE or....
a.k.a. the parentS, Mom and Dad, you, me us, them... which lends to prima facia evidence in support of the following-
in order to achieve, or 'make' one "whole" human child, simply combine the following...
ONE HALF of EACH parent or...
.5(m) + .5(d) = 1(c)
and voila!
Ponder this fact now.
CHILDREN will never forget the aforementioned basic fact of their existence as being a combination of two people ('parents' to them)
because it is true and visceral,
and therefore unforgettable.
What does this mean? to (you, me, us, them)
the adult parents
whom, by proxy are
responsible for and IN CHARGE OF the now-child / soon-to-be adult and all of their social functional(in)abilities,
the development of a sound and respectful character,
......eventual life reasonings, values with moral conviction, principles/foundation
and a chance to be a contented well-rounded adult person with nuturing attributes to pass on to their children...
Parents additionally count themselves in for...any and all behavioral habits,
issues and ideas on how to handle behaviors their children have-
not to mention,
a personal fav of mine,whether or not these children have any sense, or any knowledge of, the great, tremendous importance in having, holding out and abiding by an infallible and
high ethical code and standard...
ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS' AS YOU EXPECT/DEMAND TO BE TREATED YOURSELF, and all will be winners, in fact...
Ponder this...
Will your child be, as an adult, able to positively function, contribute, and peacefully co-exist with anyone they come into conact with, who also resides on our planet......?
Remember this:
Every BAD (or good) statement, muttered, or otherwise, heard by a child about either of their parents,
WILL etch, in the mind of that child, an (series of) awful childhood memory(ies) which will affect them, and those around them, perhaps for the rest of their lives!
I'm wondering this...
Is passing judgment, bad mouthing, demoralizing, lying about, or (insert your recent "bad" behavior here)
about the other parent REALLY "worth" it in the end?
****Do YOU REALLY want to "go out" like that?****
Children know that
*** WHEN ANYONE
says ANYTHNG
(good, bad or indifferent)
about EITHER ONE OR BOTH of their parents, that person is, by default,
ALSO attacking ( at least one half of)
the child too...
Children don't know however, that this is chipping away at their self-esteem, self worth and possible future capability,
but PARENTS know that...
The child today will, most assuredly, be the adult tomorrow, who is now in charge of the very people who were formerly in charge of them. Soon, our children will be running the show, our show. Make no mistake about it, you reap what you sow.
Break a leg.
Posted by: Claire-Elise | February 09, 2008 at 07:08 PM