Dating is not always fun. If you are finding yourself single again after a divorce, and you are looking for companionship, you probably do not like the idea of dating all over again. If you treat dating as a way to meet people, and not feel like you have to fall in love, you might be on the right track to finding the right marriage partner.
Obviously if you were married before and things didn’t work out you probably have a long list of things that went wrong. If you haven’t written them down, you should. Seeing these things in a list will help you reflect on what happened, and how you played a part in the last relationship.
Let’s face it, no person is perfect, not even ourselves. So we all have flaws and short comings. If we go out dating looking for a perfect person, you are not going to find them. What you need to look for is compatibility traits that can allow you to build a life together.
Having common ideas about raising children and religion are extremely important. Things that you will do together, like traveling is a once in a while thing, while having children and your religious beliefs are a daily thing. Those day to day activities is what will help to make your relationship stronger. If you don't have commonality in day to day tasks and ideas, you will have a difficult time staying married.
A therapist said once that if you are on a date, see how that potential partner treats the waiter or waitress, if they are demeaning, rude, and disrespectful to them to watch out. This person is more likely to end up treating you like this in the long run. Also see how they are around animals, if they are mean to animals, she says to proceed with caution. Watching for red flags, and being willing to slow down or not continue dating someone you are not 100 percent comfortable with may be the best thing you could learn to do. Sometimes, we fall into a relationship. Instead of getting out there and meeting the right person, we settle for something that will end in disappointment.
Another thing to consider in dating is that to turn it into a long term relationship takes a commitment from both people. There is going to be give and take, compromise. Finding ways to meet in the middle and take turns is a very important skill to learn. Often in marriage you lose a bit of freedom, but you gain so much in companionship. A book called “Choice Theory” by William Glasser, offers excellent methods and approaches to working out differences in relationships. Finding a person that is willing to compromise and work with you is so very important. It is also important for you to have the right attitude about marriage.
If you need to, get counseling. Don't feel that you have to get through dating alone. It may help getting advice from someone that is removed from your life and my offer an objective view. Sometimes friends and family members may not offer the best ideas. Ultimately, however, the final choices that you make in your relationships are your decision, so take you time to make your decision.
All of the article is available at Best Syndication.
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