Play debt card carefully during your divorce

Q: I am considering divorce. My husband is 64, on the verge of retirement. I'm 20 years younger and working two jobs to pay off debt that was built by both of us. The card was in my name only. I'm considering filing for divorce to force him to give me some money toward the outstanding balance. He's been putting all his money in investments in his name only and I'm carrying the debt. Should I not pay it at all and look for legal action? -- Nancy

Dear Nancy: Although divorcing over money issues is very common, I always have a hard time getting used to it when I hear someone is going down that road. The loss of dreams, time and, yes, money is very sad indeed. My primary recommendation is to try to communicate with your husband about your level of frustration and his pitching in to help pay the debt. You might gently (or not, considering the stakes) remind him that the balance on the credit card is due to purchases from which you both benefited and that you are working a second job to keep up with payments.

Don't forget to look at it from his point of view, as well. He may be paying for other things and thinking he is doing his part in the marriage.

If you have already tried to reach an agreement with your husband about paying off the debt, to no avail, here are some suggestions. First, stop using the card. Second, get a new card that you will use for just stuff that applies to you alone. Third, ask him to get a joint card with you for future purchases that benefit both of you.

I do not have good news for you regarding your idea of stopping payments on the debt. Since the card is in your name only, the one hurt most by not paying the bill will be you. It will negatively affect your credit, not his. If you believe divorce is in your future, you will want to protect your credit as best you can. Property, assets and debt are split up in a divorce, so you need to be careful and minimize any potential financial damage.

Let's look at what might happen if you stop paying the credit-card debt. Consequences of not paying:

• Due to universal default clauses on many credit-card accounts, late payments to one account can mean much higher interest charges on all your other accounts.

• Your credit score could take a serious dive. Payment history accounts for about one-third of your score. Recent late payments lower your score more significantly than older late payments and the longer an account goes unpaid the more points you lose on your credit score.

• A lower credit score could mean difficulty obtaining a lease or mortgage if you will be changing residences in the divorce or higher insurance payments.

• Nonpayment could result in you being sued by the creditor, which could result in you owing legal fees on top of the debt and a judgment that would allow the creditor to garnishee your present and post-divorce wages, put a lien on your home or consider other means to legally collect the money due. I would encourage you to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband.

At 64, I hope he would know that avoiding marital conflict and divorce has real value. Plus, if he knows how upset you are, and he really cares for you, a solution may be in the offing. If he is an insensitive dweeb, contact an attorney if you are seriously considering divorce and find out what legal recourse you have to get your husband to pay his portion of the debt. In the meantime, keep paying your credit-card bill.

Q and A from the Portsmouth Herald.