Dealing with a divorce is a daunting task indeed. Once you place children into the equation, the situation becomes even more difficult to handle for people who barely know what to do themselves. The purpose of this article, however, is to help you focus on what you should do when you spend time with your children, both during and after the divorce process.
Whatever you do, try your best not to let your children see you fall apart, even if that’s what you want to do most. Children don’t understand the complexities of adult relationships and emotions, so there’s no need to burden them with emotions they can’t handle. Do your best to keep things on a positive note; they are no doubt trying to do the same for you.
Don’t Discuss the Details
Again, there’s no reason to discuss the divorce with your children, especially if they don’t ask you about it. Never talk negatively about your spouse and remember that your children still love them as much as they love you. You should focus on the time you have together and answer any questions they may have as neutrally and briefly as possible. There’s no need to burden them with extra information that may change their perceptions of either party.
Enjoy Your Time Together
When you have your children, make the time you spend together quality time. Do fun activities that help you all bond and work together as a team. Don’t let negative emotions get in the way or prevent you from doing things as a family. Sure, things won’t be the way they used to be, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give up either.
Don’t Change Parenting Habits
More than during any other time, your children need you to be consistent with them. Don’t be afraid to punish them; they still require discipline. Be the same parent you have always been and do your best to make sure that you and your ex are still on the same page regarding routines and punishments. Just because your relationship is over doesn’t mean your children’s needs should fall to the wayside.
Be Accessible and Available for Your Children
No matter what, you want your children to know that you are going to be there for them when they need you. Don’t make things out to be worse than they are; no matter what, you will always be their parent. This time in your children’s’ lives can have a huge impact on their future, so you want to let them know that you are there for them whenever they need you.
This post was contributed by Kelly Kilpatrick, who writes on the subject of a criminalist. She invites your feedback at kellykilpatrick24 at gmail dot com