California Divorce and Family Law

Dog caught in middle of divorce

Question: I recently got a divorce and we settled everything amicably, from our finances to property. The one thing we are still fighting over is our little dog. She was mine to begin with. I had her before we met, so I feel the dog is mine. However, my ex-wife is planning to sue me over this dog. She has become very attached to the dog and has demanded we share custody of it as if it was a child. I told her that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard and she became very angry. I think it’s just a ploy to still be in my life somehow. I would be hurt if I had to give up the dog, but it’s getting ridiculous. What should I do?

Answer: First off, the dog is yours. If you had the dog before coming into the relationship, then it is yours. I’m not saying your ex-wife doesn’t love the dog as much as you, but if she sues, I can’t imagine she would be awarded the dog. I think it is a lot more than just the dog.

I think you are correct in saying that it is still a ploy to stay in your life. I don’t know your ex-wife, but now that all the finances and property are figured out, it seems this is the last thing she can hold on to stay in your life. Divorces are often messy situations, and I’m sorry you have to go through this.

As advice, I would suggest asking your ex-wife what the real problem is behind this situation. Maybe once you get the underlying problem out in the open, you can get past fighting about the dog. Really, though, there is no fight. The dog is yours.

Another answer: I agree, it’s your dog, and you should have it. But pets become an integral part of life and sharing them after a divorce as you would a child is not as silly as it sounds. If you Google “pets and divorce laws,” you’ll see a number of states grappling with this issue.

Most laws treat pets as property, but some courts have set up parenting plans for pets, which would include custody visits.

I think all pet lovers realize that animals can be much more than property, and that’s why you’re in this position. I’m deducing from your question that the two of you have no children. Childless couples will have more attachment to pets.

If everything was amicable, you and your ex probably didn’t use lawyers, but you may have to get one to take custody of your dog. Not knowing the specifics of your case, I’m not sure whether your wife is using the dog to stay close to you or if she just loves the dog. You can try talking to her, as Lynelle suggests, but it seems like she’s in no mood to communicate with you.

If the dog is important to you, you might have to settle the matter legally. Despite your wife’s attachment to the animal, your attachment goes back before you met her so she would need an extreme argument (such as documented pet abuse) to take the dog from you.

This Q&A from the Herald Bulletin.

This Is to Inform You of Our New Life Apart...

IN mid-August, Dominic Thomas, 35, of Atlanta, sent an e-mail message to more than 100 people to announce his divorce.   

“I am writing with the relieving yet not quite joyous news that I am finally divorced as of the judge’s signature at 6 p.m. last Thursday,” it read.

With so many couples on the splits these days, the stigma of divorce is wearing off and the newly single are increasingly publicly pronouncing their breakups.

While the president of France and the mayors of some big American cities have the ability to announce their marital status with microphones and news releases, others may announce their divorces more simply: with mass e-mailings. There are also printed divorce cards for those who prefer a formal approach. Stationers can even create personalized announcements that look and read like their sister card — the wedding announcement.

The two-and-a-half page message Mr. Thomas sent detailed his appreciation of the emotional support he received during the two-year-long custody battle over his son; his estimate of how much the legal process cost him and his former wife; and the finer points of the custody arrangement.

Mr. Thomas, an assistant professor at Emory, said he wrote his announcement because: “I’m reclaiming my life as it is. Letting people know about it. I don’t want it to be a taboo subject.” It also “helped in the healing process,” he added.

Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist who specializes in the study of American families at Johns Hopkins, said nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.

Mr. Cherlin said divorce announcements are something you wouldn’t have seen two generations ago.

“It would have been like announcing an out-of-wedlock pregnancy,” he said. “The fact that people aren’t embarrassed to send out a divorce announcement tells you how routinized divorce has become.”

But writer beware: The latest edition of “Emily Post’s Etiquette” states that “announcements can backfire, making the celebrant appear cold-hearted and insensitive.”

Peter Post, a great-grandson of Emily Post and the author of “Essential Manners for Couples,” (Collins, 2005) said, “It’s certainly nicer to inform by talking face to face” or by using the telephone. “Terms of the settlement are not to be announced to the whole world — it’s a private matter,” he said. “Why cause more ill will than necessary?”

More than a dozen friends responded to Mr. Thomas’s message. Replies ranged from the raucous (“YeeeHaaa!!”) to the emotional (“The news of your divorce was really disheartening and saddening”) to the practical (“That much debt will keep your nose to the grindstone for a long time”).

Robert Olen Butler, a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist and a professor at Florida State, wrote what became a very publicized break-up announcement this summer.

After his wife of 12 years, the author Elizabeth Dewberry, left him for Ted Turner, Mr. Butler sent an e-mail message in July to a few faculty members and graduate students explaining the split in much detail. “Rumors will soon be swirling around the department, so I want to tell the full and nuanced story,” he wrote. “This sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly.”

The e-mail caused a tizzy when it was immediately forwarded and circulated on Gawker, the media gossip Web site.

Beyond the emotional and etiquette minefields that accompany such e-mail announcements, there may be legal ramifications.

“E-mail announcements could adversely affect a judge’s decision in a custody battle,” said Stephanie Lehman, a matrimonial lawyer and partner in WolfBlock in New York.

Robert, 46, a founder of a music-licensing company in Los Angeles, filed for divorce in June and mailed 30 humorous divorce announcements he bought from TheDivorceCards.com when he moved out. Robert, whose lawyer advised him not to use his last name while still in the middle of divorce proceedings, described his divorce “as messy as can be.” He sent the cards to let people know his new mailing address but also because, he said, “if you don’t laugh, you’re gonna cry.”

“I was devastated; still am devastated,” he said. “If you make light of it, you feel like a man.”

Avygail Sanchez, 28, of Los Angeles, filed for divorce in mid-July. “It was so traumatizing for me to leave,” she said.

In early August, Ms. Sanchez, an urban planner, who describes herself as private and reserved, sent an e-mail message to about 15 family members and friends.

“Most of you know that two years ago in April, I was wed to Prince Charming. Some of you attended the ceremony and reception so you know what I mean by ‘charming.’” Never did I imagine my life from December 2006 to present to be what it has.”

Looking back on the message, Ms. Sanchez said, “I wanted to tell the world: ‘Look what happened, but I’m out of it now. I’m out,’” she said. “There’s no going back.”

Stan Tatkin, a psychotherapist who is a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, said a divorce announcement “forces the person to declare the loss and move on.”

“It makes it much more real,” he said.

Read the entire article at The New York Times.

California Governor Schwarzenegger Vetoes Gay Marriage Bill

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a gay marriage bill Friday, saying voters and the state Supreme Court, not lawmakers, should decide the issue. According to the New York Times, "The Republican governor turned down a measure by Assemblyman Mark Leno that would have defined marriage as a union between two people, not just a man and a woman. Schwarzenegger vetoed a similar bill from Leno, a San Francisco Democrat, in 2005 and has said he would veto all such bills. The California Supreme Court is likely to rule next year on whether the state's voter-approved ban on gay marriage violates the constitution. Schwarzenegger said in his veto message that Californians ''should not be discriminated against based upon their sexual orientation.'' He said he supports state laws that give domestic partners many of the rights and responsibilities of marriage."

From Family Law Prof Blog.

Calififornia Judge Tossed Out for Delay, Neglect

California's Commission on Judicial Performance on Tuesday ordered an incorrigible clutter bug removed from the Riverside County bench.

Superior Court Judge Robert Spitzer's "inexcusable delays, failure to act and gross neglect of court orders demonstrates an unwillingness or inability to perform judicial functions," commission Chairman Frederick Horn wrote in the unanimous order.

Spitzer, a 17-year veteran of the Riverside courts, was charged with eight counts of judicial misconduct stemming from accusations that he backdated court orders, failed to dispose of cases promptly, filed "at least" 70 false salary affidavits and conducted improper ex parte conversations.

The judge's courtroom and chambers were routinely "in shambles," and because files were "strewn about without any discernible organization," they were often lost or misplaced, the commission found.

In hearings before a panel of special masters and the commission earlier this year, Spitzer conceded that he had trouble organizing his work but insisted that he was undergoing therapy and changing courtroom procedures to fix the problems.

But commissioners noted that, after they had threatened him in 2003 with a public admonishment for similar troubles, Spitzer had assured them that he would change his ways.

"We have no confidence in his ability to conform to standards of judicial conduct," the commission said.

Spitzer's attorney, Reginald Vitek of Seltzer Caplan McMahon Vitek in San Diego, did not return a phone call Tuesday.

Presiding Judge Richard Fields of the Riverside County Superior Court said Spitzer left his courtroom Tuesday morning after learning of the commission's order.

"He is absolutely one of the hardest-working judges I've ever met," Fields said. "The loss of such an experienced judicial officer at this very critical point in this court's history is going to be felt by many people."

Fueled by Riverside County's enormous population growth, the courts have a backlog of civil cases and officials have struggled to keep up with the criminal calendars. Chief Justice Ronald George recently dispatched two dozen judges from around the state to Riverside to help process felony cases.

Fields said he's asked the Administrative Office of the Courts for an assigned judge to take on Spitzer's courtroom.

Spitzer, 58, cited the county's crushing caseload as one of the reasons he fell behind in his work. But commissioners said it was more than the judge's "chronic state of disorganization" that led to his troubles.

Investigators said Spitzer appeared to backdate his signature on numerous orders before giving them to his clerk for processing. The commission found that in one case, City of Moreno Valley v. Southern California Association of Governments (SCAG), Spitzer received a proposed judgment on May 6, 2003 but didn't act until June 9, 2004, when he signed the judgment, backdated the document July 3, 2003 and file-stamped it July 7, 2003.

An appellate court tossed out SCAG's appeal in August 2004 on the grounds that agency leaders had waited too long -- 13 months according to Spitzer's signature -- to file. SCAG has not resubmitted their appeal.

In another case, Spitzer forgot to file a decision entirely. The judge heard a small claims case in 1996 and, despite numerous complaints from the parties involved, never issued a ruling. It was only after the plaintiff's mother, a potential juror in an unrelated case, complained to Spitzer in 2002 that Spitzer conducted a new trial and finally issued a ruling.

Commissioners said Spitzer's delays in closing cases led him to file false affidavits saying that he had no cases outstanding for more than 90 days, something judges must do regularly to receive their paychecks.

The commission also criticized Spitzer for improper behind-the-scenes meddling in cases. In 2004, the judge lobbied prosecutors to charge a defendant with manslaughter and not murder in a DUI case. The district attorney declined and after a jury deadlocked, Spitzer brought the victim's mother into his office and, according to investigators, encouraged her to persuade the DA to pursue manslaughter charges.

Spitzer told the special masters that he was only trying to comfort and to educate the mother and that he never meant to suggest that she lobby the prosecutor for reduced charges.

"Attempting to convince a mother whose child was killed by a drunk driver that her child's death was unintentional by reference to Penal Codes, legal terminology, and sentence calculations reflects an alarming lack of sensitivity in addition to being extraordinarily inappropriate and unjudicial," Horn wrote on behalf of the commission.

Spitzer is the third judge the commission has ordered removed from office in the last 10 months. Santa Barbara County Superior Court Judge Diana Hall was ousted in December 2006 after the commission found that she had violated campaign finance laws, received two misdemeanor convictions for DUI and improperly questioned a prosecutor's motives. And commissioners removed Monterey County Superior Court Judge Jose Velasquez in April for denying defendants due process, making inappropriate comments in court and improperly issuing bench warrants.

From Law.com.

Making Divorce As Painless As Possible

If you believe that a bad marriage will somehow make a good divorce, you’re dreaming.

Worse, you’re unprepared for what’s ahead: The most wretched period of your life.

“It’s easy to hide assets, especially if the divorce turns nasty, so be prepared,” says Christina Rowe, author of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce. “Know your financial situation. It’s easy to let one spouse or the other handle the finances during the marriage, but if you’re getting a divorce, you’re headed for serious trouble if you don’t know what your assets are.”

It’s easy to torture your ex in court – all it takes is a dash of imagination, an unhealthy dose of viciousness and buckets of bucks. Remember: Your attorney has a vested interest in litigating all things petty and stupid and will be more than happy to help you make a fool of yourself while running up the bill.

Divorce isn’t, or shouldn’t be about reprisal that quickly morphs into a form of insanity. Set your emotions aside because divorce is a simple division of assets. The law and the numbers are straightforward. The issues become complicated only when emotion overwhelms reason.

Most people want just one thing in a divorce: out of a dead relationship. But don’t let your eagerness to move on obscure the need to nail down the basics. Personal finance is fertile ground for shenanigans in the hands of a vindictive ex. Here are some basic steps to limit the mischief:

• Locate, organize and copy all financial records. Make one copy for yourself and a second for your attorney. Save the originals.
• Close all joint bank and brokerage accounts. If that’s not possible, freeze access to the accounts.
• Close all joint credit accounts. Open new accounts in your own name.
• Maintain a written record of all expenses run up during the separation. This also includes joint expenses such as bills paid and home improvements or auto maintenance.
• Establish your net worth. Keep a record of all income during the separation. Save pay stubs, bank and brokerage statements.
• The forced sale of stock or other investments is likely to have tax implications. Consult your financial planner as needed.
• Before the settlement conference, make a list of what you seek right down to household goods.
• If there’s something you know your soon-to-be ex wants in the property settlement, don’t give it away in a hopeless effort to establish goodwill. Use it as a bargaining chip and trade it for something you want.
• Settle out of court. This will cut legal costs and ease your jangled nerves.

Divorce is governed by state law and the details may vary slightly from state to state. However, there can be wide differences in the interpretation of the law among judges in the courthouse, so ask around about the attitude and temperament of various judges toward men and women, alimony or joint custody.

But keep in mind that most divorce attorneys regularly appear in court and will be reluctant to disqualify a judge because they’ll be back with another case tomorrow. However, if you have good reason to believe that a judge can’t be impartial, insist that your attorney file the needed paperwork to get your case transferred to another judge.

You’ve got to nail this down because mere feelings aren’t enough to disqualify a judge from your case.

No attorney can be certain how a judge will rule. A competent attorney will tell you what’s happened in similar cases and will discuss likely outcomes. If your attorney guarantees an outcome, it’s time to get a new lawyer.

Keep discussions with your attorney short and to the point. Remember that your lawyer is an advocate – not your friend and confidant. Most attorneys don’t want to hear the gory details. If you need to talk, see a friend, a member of the clergy or even a psychiatrist, if you can afford it.

Most men want to maintain regular contact with their children and a few want to be the custodial parent. If the kids will live with their mother, she’ll need money to raise them and may need money to cover household expenses until she resumes her career.

Two people who were once close should be able to figure this out. Of course, divorce is rarely that simple but with a little thought you can prevent it from becoming hideously complicated.

Think back to when you met and recall why you flipped for your future ex. You once listened and one of the reasons the marriage failed is probably that you stopped listening and talked past each other. It’s difficult to listen during a divorce, especially if one party is angry or feels betrayed. But there’s great incentive to listen carefully and resolve the divorce quickly: your kids and your wallet.

Read it all at Minyanville.

How to throw a divorce party

It's sad when people fall out of love. But dissolving an unhealthy, unhappy marriage is a good thing, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up and say, "We deserve better."

Divorce parties not only let us close the door on that misery, these rites of passage provide the ritual we need to help us heal. They offer us a way to celebrate a new independence, to thank those who have stood by us through the muck, and to announce to the world that we are ready to move on in life. Finally, it's official.

Save the Date           

It's tempting to set a date for your party as soon as divorce proceedings get under way. But muster up all your patience and wait until things are just short of being finalized. Like any social gathering, your party will require some preparation ahead of time, and you don't want to be thinking about guest lists and napkin rings in the throes of legal negotiations. You'll be in much better spirits if you show up at your divorce party with decree in hand.

The Guesting Game           

Divorce party guest lists come in all shapes and sizes, and the only factor that determines who you invite is personal comfort level. Would you feel better surrounded by guests of the same sex, or does a co-ed event feel more like a celebration? Do you want to just hang with other divorcees? Does it feel right to bring together only the people who have stood by you through this many-monthed mammoth of a nightmare or are you hoping for something more inclusive, with coworkers and neighbors? Are you on really (really, really) good terms with your ex and feel that they should be there? The only right answers to these questions can come from you, so put some thought into it and -- if it helps -- start with a long list and whittle it down.

Deck the Halls           

The intensely organized go so far as to print up invitations, arrange a gift registry (ideal for those who lost it all in settlement) and announcements for their party. Some get a kick out of decorating the party space (rented-out restaurant, bar, friend's house, etc.) with streamers, obscenely decorated cakes, voodoo dolls, piñatas, balloons and bowls of snack food. Get some ideas from Christine Gallagher, a writer from L.A., who published a book in 2003 called The Divorce Party Planner: How to Throw a Divorce or Breakup Party and has sold thousands on her website, http://www.revengelady.com/.

One word to the wise: decorations, catered food and other props can ring up a hefty tally, so be realistic about what you can afford with your new single-income earning status and stay within that budget.

Pieces of the Action             

Besides the usual telling of (hopefully by now) funny stories and making plans for the future, the activities at your divorce party can be as uneventful or as coordinated as you like. I've read of some recently divorced folks who have hired officiates or asked a close friend to perform a short, meaningful sermon about healing and the joy of change, and about a woman who asked her mother to lead a renaming ceremony in which she symbolically gave her daughter back her maiden name.
          

Others still have projected First Wives Club or War of Roses in one area of the gathering and had a ceremonial burning of the marriage license in another area. Don't feel pressured to include any of these aspects if they don't feel right to you. A low-key gathering of a few close friends can be just as momentous as one that takes months to organize. The details of your party should reflect your mood and own personal style.

And Just Don't...           

Even if your divorce party is lush with hot and horny singles, it's probably best not to fool around with one of them at or just after the gathering. After all, this is an event intended to celebrate your newly reclaimed independence, and bringing a sexual interest into the picture now complicates your newfound simplicity of lifestyle.

Other experiences to avoid at your fete include getting totally trashed (you don't want to want to get all weepy or confrontational), destroying any tangible memories of your marriage's happy times (your wedding album and keepsakes from your courting days might mean the world to your kids), and making plans to do anything of importance the next day.

And remember that this event is not about badmouthing, trash talking or hurting the person you've fallen out of love with. This is an occasion to commemorate your personal path of healing and newfound independence.

From Canoe.

Work out ring custody pre-wedding

Living in a state where around 49 percent of marriages are ending in divorce, newly engaged couples are getting prepared for what may come. Or are they?

The journey down the aisle can be a very joyous time. Despite the stress and strain of all the plans leading up to the wedding, after all the "wedding jitters" have left, a couple can't help but to bask in the glory of it all.

The reception, the honeymoon suite and the new house can all seem surreal. The couple prepares for their life together and, after the honeymoon is over, what they are usually left with are bills and each other.

And one of these bills that doesn't come cheap is from that gleaming rock upon the blushing bride's hand: the engagement ring. Many women dream of the day when they can walk into their job and, as their co-workers see the gigantic rock on her finger, instantly become the center of attention. The small fortune that is gently circling her ring finger is her pride and joy and, more likely than not, the person she is going to marry is brainstorming ways to pay for it.

After the ceremony and honeymoon are over, if somewhere along the way the woman finds out that the man she calls husband is not the love of her life, what will become of the beautiful jewelry that once symbolized their endless love and commitment?

Typically, the woman will get the ring if a divorce should occur. Since it was considered a "gift," it belongs to the woman and although the husband may have paid for it, the woman will still be able to keep it because it is now considered her property.

There have been heated debates and tearful discussions on the topic of who gets the engagement ring, even going as far as going to court to settle the argument. However, to avoid all the hassle that comes with that, we at The Michigan Journal believe that before the wedding day, the couple needs to make sure that everything is settled by signing a prenuptial agreement before the signing the marriage license.

Every couple needs to look at the future realistically. Although they want to be optimistic and think that everything is going work out, they do need to consider a back-up plan in case something like divorce should arise. Preparation would save the couple a lot of heartache and hassle because they would already know where they stand. They would know who would take the dog, the furniture and of course, the engagement ring.

Forget the romantic fantasy; face the facts and sign the prenup.

From the  Michigan Journal. 

Separate emotions, assets when facing divorce

Q: My husband and I are divorcing. The prospect frightens me on many levels. What advice do you have for dealing with the financial issues and consequences?

A: When you throw money conflicts in with other marital differences over religion, child rearing, dealing with family, sex and whether to recap the toothpaste tube, reaching an agreement to divorce and divide things financially can cause real fireworks.

Money is intimately connected with divorce. During a divorce, couples often argue over how to divide the assets. After the divorce, divorcees find themselves needing to adjust to a lower household income and reconfiguring their financial plans.

Hard as it may be, one of the keys to having a "financially successful" divorce is not to let your financial issues take a back seat to legal and emotional issues. While both your emotional life and financial life are important, it is vital to keep them separate. If you let your emotions interfere with the financial issues of divorcing, legal bills and frazzled nerves will accumulate.

By separating your emotional lives from your financial lives, a divorcing couple may very well be able to settle out of court. Few people are ever happy with what judges decide; negotiated settlements are usually more palatable. But if you refuse to lay down your swords, such a settlement is not possible.

In addition to keeping your emotions at bay, educate yourself financially. Take a personal-finance course and read some good books. You also might seek financial advice — but be careful. Attorneys generally lack the training and perspective to look at your whole financial picture. Most financial advisers sell products, have other conflicts of interest and have little experience dealing with divorce issues.

Consulting with a tax adviser is worthwhile in some cases, as taxes weigh heavily in some divorce situations. For example, if you have the choice between paying more in alimony or child support, it's useful to know that the former is tax-deductible while the latter is not.

One of the most important exercises for spouses is to analyze their individual spending. Lower-income-earning spouses, who are typically women, face the biggest reduction in their standard of living post-divorce. A budget will help during the divorce to justify requests for alimony or child support, as well as with adjusting to a new financial life after divorce.

Planning for your post-divorce financial life is important. Most divorcees are faced with lower incomes and higher costs of living. The main reason: Living together as a family is usually cheaper per person than maintaining separate households.

Other financial issues must be rethought as well. You might need different insurance coverages and a new investment strategy.

If you're not committed to divorcing, perhaps all this talk of lawyers and becoming a financial and tax expert is daunting. If there's a way to work things out, especially when children are involved, work at making your marriage continue. Consider seeking help from a marriage counselor/psychologist if you can't talk things out yourselves and picking up some good books on the subject.

This Q and A from the Houston Chronicle.

Divorce adds another wrinkle to retirement planning

Some older clients seek guidance as they end their marriages

As if baby boomer retirement and estate planning weren't enough, financial advisers are now grappling with another issue brought to the fore by boomers: late-in-life divorce. Advisers are reporting that more of their clients who are approaching retirement age are coming to them for financial guidance as they end their marriages.

“We're seeing people married for 30 years who are now getting di-vorced,” said Tom Norton, a certified public accountant and certified divorce financial analyst at Thomas Norton & Co. LLC of St. Louis. Longer life expectancies may mean that unhappy spouses are willing to change their situation if they are discontent with their marriages, he added.

The leading edge of baby boom-ers — those born between 1946 and 1955 — has the highest divorce rate among Americans. About 38% of men and 41% of women born in that decade were divorced by 2004, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, divorce later in life is complicated by the need to re-examine and shift retirement and estate plans, advisers say.

Now approaching retirement, boomers have accumulated hefty balances in their qualified savings plans and other accounts, all of which typically are split between the divorcing spouses. But advisers have recognized that divvying up cash and other financial assets often is one of the easier parts of divorce planning, as angst ridden as it may be.

The most difficult job often is dissuading a client from living a flashy and expensive lifestyle as a newly single retiree, some advisers say.

“This generation as a whole is looking to retire in better style,” said Howard Sontag, founder and principal of Sontag Advisory LLC in New York and Westport, Conn. “It's hard for someone in the midst of an un-pleasant experience to get intelligent about their money.”

Mr. Sontag spoke of a client who acknowledged that she could no longer afford the large apartment she had had prior to a divorce but insisted on keeping it anyway. In such cases, clients require advisers who can provide emotional and financial guidance.

“When you find people who have been hurt and are still holding that grudge, they can make a lot of bad financial decisions,” said Drew Tignanelli, president of The Financial Consulate, an advisory firm in Lutherville, Md.

“I'm not saying I'm a psychologist, but you should encourage them to seek help if they need it,” he added, observing that some troubled clients have turned their backs on their finances and “live like paupers.”

Clients should also be made aware that Social Security may not provide the windfall they could be anticipating. Those 62 and older are entitled to collect retirement benefits on an ex-spouse's Social Security record if the marriage lasted at least 10 years and if the ex is entitled to benefits, in which case the individual may receive the equivalent of half of what the ex-spouse receives.

In case of remarriage, those 62 and over can choose to get benefits based on their old spouse's or their new spouse's Social Security record. Those under 62 are entitled to benefits based only on their new spouse's Social Security record (though if they get divorced a second time, they are entitled to benefits based on either spouse's record).

Aside from helping clients create a budget, understand cash flow and seek retirement work opportunities, advisers also must untangle estate plans. This calls for a team of lawyers and accountants, especially when divorced individuals remarry.

“Estate planning is most complicated when there's a large disparity in assets, and the new husband and wife want to keep assets separate,” Mr. Tignanelli said. The situation becomes messier when stepchildren become involved.

The law regarding a “per stirpes” distribution, or the equal division of assets among descendants in an estate plan, can vary from one state to another and may not include stepchildren, Mr. Tignanelli added.

“When clients divorce and then die, you have to make sure that the stepparents will leave something to the children — that's the battlefield of estate administrations,” he said.

Read more at Investment News.

New Web Site Offers Women Modern Tools for Tackling Age-Old Divorce Problems

Women who are separated, divorced or facing divorce now have a free online resource filled with practical knowledge known only by divorce lawyers and survivors of perilous divorces: The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide http://www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com.

The site was conceived and created by a former family lawyer who also is divorced. “While I was practicing family law in California and Hawaii, I witnessed the plight of divorcing women everyday,” said Helene Taylor, the site’s co-founder. “I saw the pressing need for straightforward guidelines that they could use to confront and overcome the legal and personal challenges they were facing.” Ms. Taylor was also very familiar with the unforgiving nature of law and the significant, negative impact it had on under- or unrepresented women. “This knowledge motivated me to find a way to get that critically important information to as many women as I could, regardless of their circumstances. That is how The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide was born.”

The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide differs significantly from existing divorce web sites. It is neither a general legal resource, nor is it simply a network of strangers. It is a dynamic, round-the-clock site filled with stress reducing, money-saving tips, state-specific resources and links, and articles that show women how to tackle problems common to every divorce, regardless of whether it is filed in San Diego, San Antonio or New York City. The site also is jam-packed with interactive tools, including:

*    Questionnaires, worksheets and checklists designed to help even the most timid women accomplish such difficult tasks as preparing for divorce before telling their husbands, interviewing lawyers, negotiating contracts, appearing in court, settling their cases and enforcing judgments.

*    “Talk to a Lawyer” and “Talk to a Mediator” services that enable women to describe their cases succinctly and ask interested lawyers and mediators in their area to contact them.

*    A Member’s Forum that allows women to connect directly with others facing similar challenges, ask questions and find answers. Regardless of their locations, women can share their experiences, knowledge and support.

*   A blog that helps women get motivated, gives weekly divorce tips, shares real-life stories and breaks up-to-the-minute divorce-related news.

Additional site features include articles written by women who are doctors, ex-wives, mothers and published authors, plus links to hundreds of national and state agencies and programs that provide family law services and support to women.

The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide is now available to women everywhere at no cost. To join the community and see how the site can help you, visit http://www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com.